Grand Theft Babbling: Vice City Stories

 [I can’t trust anyone until I’ve discovered who leaked our arrival to those puta bandits!]


Just got finished playing through the Vice City Stories campaign on PSP. After hiatus, and hiatus, and hiatus. Because the missions are just... yeah.

I’m actually somewhat proud of myself that a lot of the missions other GTA fans claimed they’ve clawed their eyes out from, I got right on my first try. Though, many times still on the brink of failing. I guess it shows after all these years of playing these games that I can see through Rockstar’s clankiness and horse shit mission design. Enough so that I’m prepared even when I’m not prepared. THOSE levels of San Andreas had me to my knees a lifetime ago, but I’ve also gone through that whole game dozens of times since.

 

VCS has nothing to do with practice or skill. I’ve seen people try to pin it on me playing via portable instead of the good old PlayStation 2, when I’ve completed Liberty City Stories on the exact same handheld with not even half the hassle.

When you have a “mission” that’s just a bunch of prostitutes with AKs shooting all at once, and spawning right fucking next to you before you can even reload; I’m not gonna feel sorry for using cheat codes on that sequence.

 

That being said, I definitely did not hate the experience. I mean, when it’s Vice City, how can you?

Yeah, it’s overlooked. And it has valid reasons for being overlooked, but I’d still give props.

It took an already existing game I knew + loved, and found a once revolutionary way to make it more accessible beyond your TV set.

Environment and soundtrack still does not miss a beat.
**In-game Phil Collins concert!!!**

Being the unsung finale to the Trilogy and the formative years of this franchise also begs for some praise.

 

 

.......Not that impressed with this game’s plot as other fans, though! :/

Maybe I’m just getting older. Maybe I’ve seen Niko Bellic and the rest do it much better. Maybe I’ve grown fatigued with lack of effort on antiheroes. Maybe all of the above.

“Bah! You’re a murderer and a drug dealer, but you THINK you’re a saint!” Blatantly having to spell that out loud constantly just always cringes you the fuck out. Very sophomore like. I’ve played and loved these games since ‘01 and I swear it’s this specific title that’s noticeably unbalanced with it.

There’s also the discussion of Vic Vance being both a retcon and a posthumous protagonist.

They made this years after the original Vice City, and they center a story around a killed off minor character who’s absolutely not even the same guy at all. 

I liked when they were on-the-nose a good few times in dialogue about his death. He meets his killers, and is openly suspicious moments after meeting them. Not intimidated or threatened by them in the slightest, and I’m glad they gave him that consistently, if anything. He made a fucking lunatic cartel boss like Diaz look like another coked up loser dirtbag. 

Lance Vance (Dance)  they undoubtedly developed on more, and you just know they got their money’s worth from Philip Michael Thomas reprising the role. 

Although, Lance had his weak spots too.

During what they wanted you to think was their most pivotal moment, Vic’s girl (abused mother from trailer park) dies in sobbing Victor’s arms. Lance’s immediate reaction, from being in the same room as it happened... was to say she was “no good?” And I’m supposed to genuinely give a shit about that heartfelt moment when they both quickly get along and sell even more coke after that? Lol.

**Even as a genuine shot to further villainize Lance for the original Vice City, it falls flat when he’s just dopey comic relief 100% of the time. It’s even less of a punch when he’s already a nonstop selfish asshole anyway.**

It’s awesome that collectively no one fucking cares about Vic being an army guy either. Not even Lance by a long shot. It’s pretty great. That’s another predicament they introduced that doesn’t earn any favors. 

The most human Vic ever felt was during the final mission when he told off Diaz on top of the soon-to-be Vercetti mansion. That was always the fucking best, and I wish he only could’ve been like that for the majority of the game before that point.



Again though.... pretty good time.

Just preparing myself for when Vice City returns at last for GTA VI! Hopefully within this decade!