classicswim | [Cartman Gets an Anal Probe]

I’m revisiting South Park Mania days yet again in preparation for the tickets I purchased to see South Park BLU (yes, I know) return to theaters.

Seasons 1-3 are already episodes I’ve seen a lethal amount of times, but the pilot most of all.

** The first few were already drilled in my head before season one could even continue airing. **

This pilot of South Park is a fairly special case.

I’d probably put Spirit of Xmas: Jesus vs Santa well before it, but that doesn’t really change this being one of my top favorite South Parks; let alone this being arguably one of the most significant shows they’ve ever done. And not for reasons you’d suspect.

For much of the big comedy shows out there, a lot of the pilots are something you feel “stand the time” no matter how clanky they are. You recognize them for brewing the fabric of the entire show itself.

Cartman Gets an Anal Probe doesn’t really speak for whatever South Park is now.

I’d take it a step further and say the pilot doesn’t even fully represent the rest of that first season.

It co-created the big phenomenon, and added a bunch of pieces that the show may or may not go by anymore. But it’s really still its own separate creative lane.

Three guys spent an entire summer stop motion animating something which was at the time too hot for most TV and would get them laughed/thrown out of executive rooms.

Now you got two aged billionaires with a wide string of animators that can only pump out a few cruddy shows per year for streaming. Despite how proud they were previously of consistently pumping shows out weekly. And you’ve already seen and heard everything so nothing’s impressive anymore.

Nostalgia glasses off, pilot’s easily far and void from the most dignified TV imaginable. It was Terrance and Phillip before they created Terrance and Phillip.

Just think about that. As far back as the 6th and last episode from their VERY FIRST ORDER, the show had a little in-universe thing just to shit on their debut. Metaphorical and literal in context.

I’m certain I either caught the ‘97 premiere or one of the other showings as they reran it a lot, but I recall tuning in right at the part where Crabtree’s screaming at Kyle on the bus.

By today’s standards, all boundaries are off ten times over. There’s nothing you can really do to (tastefully?) offend anymore, even when you try. Everything’s lazy and shitty for both real edgelords and artificial edgelords.

Hits a little different for me since I was about the boys’ age when I first started watching the show, but the pilot still isn’t very tame at all.

Within the first few minutes of the series, small school children are calling each other dildos, and a signature gag of “KICK THE BABY” is introduced. The latter part being on the edge of good masochist humor.

The creators forcing themselves to repress and forget Isaac Hayes’ legacy on this show is still needlessly tragic.

A black musician was able to make his way back in the spotlight just for South Park existing. Played a main character!

There are two versions of this pilot. The unaired 28 minute pilot, and the altered/televised 21 minute pilot. Chef’s role doesn’t change in either. Both sets have him being the cool friend and helping the boys.

The main thing the televised version really butchered with Anal Probe was having to remove the entire playground + nurse office scenes. The playground one especially, as removing it really killed part of the intended Peanuts vibe. Pip’s a character I actually can’t strongly defend, but I’ll say what they had for the unaired ep was the funniest goddamn material to ever involve him in.

The unaired version made it so Kenny was brought back at the very end, and I guess I’m iffed by how the finalized ep got rid of that too. Instead, you get the ending note that is Scott Baio giving Eric pinkeye.

Mr. Hat’s rant, along with Cartman yelling at Kitty to get away from his pot pie are both practically mandatory mentions.

A thing mildly off the radar but not really is how Stan & Kyle’s voices swap periodically throughout the episode, as they’re thought to be that interchangeable. I really enjoy the simplicity. South Park’s still a relatively modern cartoon, so I guess even with this show partially shaping a genre undesired by most, this episode in some way is its own window in time with how cartoons used to be made. Very muddily with some things you figure out as you go along producing it.

You can find this to be a crappy piece of animation, and it’s still one of the most raw TV pilots ever made.

Critics complaining about fart jokes galore is kinda valid but also underselling a lot of the naturally timeless derpy humor exhibited in just the premiere. Barbrady doesn't even have his catchphrase yet, he’s just a bumbling dumbass who’s yelling and chasing herds of poorly animated cattle. And I’d want nothing less.